


A Warm Gentle Feeling

by timeless_alice



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with an unhappy ending, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Percy is a big gay and doesn't know how to feel affection anymore, Unknown feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeless_alice/pseuds/timeless_alice
Summary: In light of the mutiny, Perceptor contemplates his feelings about Brainstorm. Feelings that he might not have the capacity to understand, anymore.Spoilers for the mutineer trilogy





	A Warm Gentle Feeling

On some of the nights Getaway allowed the crew a break from their otherwise tight schedule, Perceptor found himself wandering the ship, until he inevitably found his way to Brainstorm’s lab. It sat vacant, unused, every day losing a little more of the manic energy produced by its usual occupant. And though it was home to equipment more suitable to what Getaway was asking of him, Perceptor couldn’t bring himself to move in.

Part of it was pragmatic, and that was the part he focused on; Brainstorm’s lab was largely unknown to him. He would rather not waste time learning how to navigate Brainstorm’s equipment, even if it meant spending time coaxing his own into handling the right equations, which was equally as time consuming. The other reasoning, more nebulous in reasoning and its source harder to pin down, was an irrational fear that the longer he stayed inside, the faster the lab would stop feeling like Brainstorm’s. A ridiculous notion, he knew, as him turning Organized Chaos into Order and reformatting the equipment for his use would not render the room suddenly and permanently his.

He trailed a hand over the barrel over one of Brainstorm’s prototype guns, a small frown quirking on his lips. Behind all the walls he had put up, all the defenses and refusals to let anyone get close, something in his spark prickled. A something he couldn’t put his finger on, an oddly comforting warmth. A sort of longing, he supposed, parsing through the information he had like he would any other scientific problem. A wish for Brainstorm’s incessant chattering about one thing or another, trying to fill the air while Perceptor worked in silence. Or Brainstorm’s larger than life presence.

But there was another element, a familiar sort of “I miss you” that had plagued him since the war began and seemed to be as much a part of him as his alt mode. But it didn’t carry the aching sense of mourning he was used to, rendering it something alien to him. He had spent so long cutting himself off from others, that if he’d felt something like this before, he had long since forgotten what it was. Things lingered under the surface, under the obvious facts that he enjoyed Brainstorm’s company (as loud and arrogant as he was), and admired his strokes of genius and outside the box thinking (when he was grounded enough to plan something rational and not world ending). It all left him lost and adrift, and for once he wished to have someone to talk to.

He’d wished he’d been brave enough to say something to Brainstorm, had weathered the teasing and snarky tone to just admit that Brainstorm had made him felt more like himself, warm and comfortable and happy and things he couldn’t even name. But it was too late, now. Brainstorm was gone, as were the others, and word not had returned to them about their whereabouts. He tried to ignore his worry, the lingering fear linked to assuming the worst case scenario. They were fine, they’d survived worse, eventually they’d reconnect.

But in the meantime, Perceptor tucked the feelings away, not to be spoken to another spark until he could muddle through the confusion. He left Brainstorm’s lab, ignoring whatever sentimental emotion urged him to stay a little bit longer, and strode back to his own lab, so he could throw himself into his work and not have to think about anything else. At least for a little while.

* * *

Rodimus had left, and with him the usual suspects, to complete the mission on their own. Unburdened by the rest of the crew. Perceptor stood in Brainstorm’s lab, hot with betrayal and abandonment and embarrassment. Of course he’d been a fool to open himself up to someone, of course Brainstorm was too much of an braggart to care about anyone other than himself. For the first time in years Perceptor had allowed himself to be open, his guard down just enough to allow for the smallest bit of vulnerability. And of course it had been thrown back in his face; when had anything gone right for him in the past four million years.

His spark ached, with something like anger and regret and everything that had been piling up in him since before boarding the ship. Just another misstep in the line of many.

The feeling that settled in him above all else, resolute and true, was that he was an idiot for thinking that things could, for once, go right.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a headcanon by tumblruser Gaycybertronians, about how after the mutiny Percy would stand in Brainstorm's lab and think about his emotions, and what to do with them. With permission, I wrote this fic!
> 
> I'm timelessmulder on tumblr if you want more of my Hot Percy Takes :D


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